The Cost of Saying “Yes” When You Mean “No”

I want to share something that hit me hard in my recent conversation with my dear friend and returning guest, Nancy Levin.

We were talking about boundaries—and not in the abstract, “set your limits” kind of way, but in the real, everyday moments we all face.

Like when you say yes to volunteering even though your plate is overflowing.Or when you agree to a dinner invitation even though your body is begging you for rest. Or when you smile and nod, hiding your truth, just to keep the peace.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been there. Many, many times.

I remember seasons of my life when I felt like a professional “yes-sayer.”I wanted to be the good girl, the helper, the one who didn’t rock the boat. But here’s the thing: every one of those “yeses” I gave away too easily came at a cost.

The cost was me.

The resentment that built up. The exhaustion that became my baseline. The chaos that seemed to follow me everywhere.

And Nancy put it into words so beautifully:👉 “The only true reason to say yes is from desire.”

Not obligation.

Not fear of letting someone down.

Not to look like the hero.

But because your heart, soul, and body align with that yes.

That hit me like a lightning bolt.

Because the truth is, when we say yes to everything and everyone, we end up saying no to ourselves. We abandon the very person we need most: us.

This conversation with Nancy reminded me of the freedom that comes when we embrace our wholeness. When we stop hiding parts of ourselves to be accepted.

When we finally believe that we are worthy of being loved exactly as we are—no masks, no false yeses, no pretending.

If you’ve ever found yourself drained, resentful, or wondering why life feels chaotic, this episode is for you.

You can listen to our full conversation here: michellephillips.com/podcast or wherever you find your podcasts.

It might just be the reminder you need today:

✨ You are allowed to say no.

✨ You are allowed to take up space.

✨ You are allowed to live in alignment with your truth.

Because beautiful friend—your authentic yes is the most powerful gift you can give the world.

With love,

Michelle 💖