I wish I had known this in my 20's
Raising kids wasn’t easy as a young mom who didn’t even know who I was.
In my 20s and 30s I was in what I call my “getting years”. Getting the spouse, the house, the career, and everything else I thought was necessary to be happy.
Don’t get me wrong, I wanted everything I had…but the question became “do I have everything I want?” I didn’t.
What was missing was my sense of self. Belief in myself. Trust in myself. A strong knowing of who I was in my core… and following the path that was right for me. Not the path of what my family, friends or society dictated.
So, I set out on a journey of self-discovery. I decided to find out what made ME happy. It was a scary path. At times, a lonely path.
I was going against the grain of everything I knew and thought was “safe”.
After years of “showing up”, as what I thought others wanted me to be, I set out onto a new path, knowing the people closest to me would judge, question, and share their opinions of my new choices.
Yep…the judgements were all over the place. I had to be brave and keep moving forward. The people who loved me eventually supported me, and those that continually criticized, I eventually let go of.
It took some time... I began reading self-help books, worked with a life coach, and took the steps to reprogram my belief system from self-doubt to self-confidence.
As I consistently did what I call “the work”, my self-confidence grew and my world expanded in positive ways. My life was filled with more passion, happiness, less fear and self-doubt! I felt liberated. Free!
Suddenly, the naysayers were asking me how I made the changes because they wanted to be liberated and happy too! This is why I decided to take the next steps to become a life coach. To teach others the process so they could become liberated too!
Don’t get me wrong…to this day, my life isn’t gloriously perfect or without challenges. However, the difficult times are not as tough… because I use the tools I have been taught to navigate through tough times in a healthier way.
I now take the time to truly listen to my heart, my gut, and stay true to myself.
By doing so, I feel I am always lead to a safe place. A place that turns out to be the exact place I was meant to be...for me.
I also learned about the importance of self-actualization. Every difficulty in my life has meaning. An opportunity to learn and grow from.
If there are a lot of difficulties in our lives, there’s a chance that we could be attracting the issues due to our current state of mind or actions.
The purpose for sharing this is two-fold…
I now see my kids practicing this in their early 20s. They live true to themselves. They follow their heart and... most of the time…they trust their gut. If they don’t, they usually call me to sort out what is swirling in their head so they can get back to what is true to their hearts.
They don’t live their lives according to what their friends, family, or social media dictates in order to feel validated...or enough.
I feel they’ve learned a lot (and still do) as I've openly shared my many mistakes and the process I continually go through to do “the work” of self-actualization and self-love.
However, I am not going to take most of the credit for their self-confidence. They've had to do the work too...and continue to do so. If you don’t do “the work” you won’t reap the benefits.
Our kids follow what they see at home… more than they follow what they see outside the house. In order to give our kids the best possible chance of living a happy, healthy life…both physically and mentally…it starts with us.
Which leads me to my last point…
It’s not selfish to take care of you, FIRST.
SELF-LOVE is taking good care of YOU, to be BRAVE, to BELIEVE in yourself, and to TRUST your heart. It’s a journey. It’s an on-going process. And it’s so worth it!
It took a lot of support, and still does, for me to do this “work”. That’s why I created my private FB group. To support you in believing in yourself and living life on YOUR terms.
If you feel you could use some support, and are ready to make changes in your life to be true to YOU email me at info@michellephillips.com or join my private FB group here.
If enough of you are seeking the support, I will create a live, yet private, group course to do this work together….
I feel we ALL could use some positive support and love to continually grow stronger.
As tough as it is to admit that we do…
Sometimes we could use a lot. Sometimes a little.
Trust me, I get it.
Now, TRUST YOU.
Let’s do this…together!
With lots love and gratitude,
Michelle
Link to my Private FB Group Page here